What I Hope To See For 2020 Blogging

I can’t tell if it’s just me or if the world of blogging seems to be turning more and more selfish. People only tend to be commenting on other people’s posts if they will get a comment back. People only tend to retweet someone’s promo tweet if they think you’ll retweet theirs. It’s as if everyone is just out for themselves and they will only help you if it will also help them.

Don’t get me wrong, there are nice people out there who just want to help you. Some of the people in the blogosphere are so so so kind that I just want to hug them and never let them go!

There are two things that I just wish people would start doing in the world of blogging..

Actually Read Blogger’s Posts

I feel like this is the one thing that people aren’t doing anymore. When people are taking part in a comment swap, they scan the post and leave a very generic comment. It kind of annoys me though because people spend a lot of time writing there posts. Sure, we love getting comments but if you’re anything like me, I am pretty sure that you would would way prefer people to actually read the post.

More writing instead of 100 photos per post

Something that I noticed recently is that people are hardly writing things on their blog anymore. They are becoming more and more like photo diaries. Don’t get me wrong, I do love looking at photos but if I want to do that then I will head over to Instagram. If I’m reading your blog then I mostly want to hear what you have to see and maybe see the odd photo or two throughout the post. Maybe that’s just my personal preference but that’s just what I want to see.

I hope that the world of blogging in 2020 brings you lots of joy no matter what you choose to do with your blog. What would you like to see more of in the blogosphere?

Not Feeling Good Enough

I woke up this morning and instantly wish I hadn’t. It wasn’t because I wished I had died or something, it was simply just because I couldn’t be bothered existing. I didn’t feel like putting on a front to talk to people and I couldn’t be bothered to pretend to feel good about myself.

Recently, I watched a film called I Am Pretty on Netflix. It wasn’t the best film in the world but it sort of had me thinking a bit. The main character never felt good enough and then suddenly, her mindset changed and she felt like she was super amazing. It completely changed her way of life just because her mindset had changed. In the end, she discovers that she is perfect the way she was, blah blah blah.

I really do wish that it was just as easy as a mindset change to make yourself feel good enough but I don’t think that it is. It takes a lot more to realise your own self worth.

I’m not the type of girl who has a toned body, glossy hair or perfect skin. In fact, I’m actually the opposite. I’m overweight, my hair is definitely in need of some work and my skin in covered in scars and acne. Even though I’m not classed as perfect, I never used to let that impact my confidence.

As a child, we are willing to chat to people without them worrying that they are judging us. However, over the years, our confidence sort of dies and we end up feeling like we just aren’t good enough. What made us change though? Maybe it was all in our heads or maybe it’s to do with factors that we just can’t control. I don’t even know.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll push people away when you don’t good good enough. You think you’re doing what’s best for them but are we really? I used to think that people were my friend out of pity. I figured that they didn’t actually like me, they just felt sorry for me and wanted to seem kind.

It’s kind of weird to look back on that now. I’m now in a situation where I don’t have any real life friends because I’m getting too good at pushing people away. The only person who I do have is my partner and half the time, I think he is with me for pity too. It’s an awful feeling!

When I woke up this morning, I pretended to still be asleep until my partner left so that I didn’t have to talk to him. He didn’t do anything wrong at all, I just didn’t feel good enough to be with him. I felt like he deserved better. I’ve pushed him away so many times in the past and I’ve made his life incredibly hard. But, he is still with me.

That is what I need to keep in my mind. I need to remember that the people who care, are still here. We have been together for over four years and he hasn’t gone anywhere. Sometimes my mind tricks me into thinking that is is pity or maybe that he has some other hidden reason to be with me. However, I need to remember one thing. No one sticks around for four years just from pity.

It’s so hard to get that into my mind but I’m going to keep trying. Maybe I am good enough for my partner. Maybe I am good enough for other people too. I think I just need to start giving people a chance.

What is ‘enough’ anyway? Maybe everyone feels like this and we are all just faking confidence to try to get by? I don’t know what happens in other’s people’s minds and I hardly even know what’s happening in mine.

5 Ways To Unwind On A Sunday

It’s Sunday which means you’re probably stressing out about the week ahead if you’re anything like me.

That’s not what Sunday’s are for though. Let’s all make it our mission to relax this Sunday and plan for the week ahead..

But how can we do that?!

Sleep well

Let’s be honest, no one sleeps well in the week. With all of life responsibilities and work, education or anything like that. Sleep just isn’t on the table. That is why you should take this whole weekend as an opportunity to catch up on sleep. Rest your precious heads.

Spend some quality time with your loved ones

You know those people that are so busy during the week that you never get to see..? Well spend your weekend with them. Talk about what you got up to during the week and chat all about your plans for the week ahead. You could even go out for an adventure or a date!

Reflect and plan

Think about all the things that you got up to last week and think about what you did right and what you could have done better. Use your new found knowledge to improve the week ahead.

Unplug

The thing with society these days is that we are all completely attached to our phones. We use them to see any local and world news and we use them to communicate with people. Sometimes it’s checking your emails before work the next morning and sometimes it’s just saying hi to a friend. Whatever it is, sometimes you just need to unplug and spend a little time with yourself.

Get excited for Monday

You know that Monday that is quickly approaching?! Well it’s time to get hyped as you have an opportunity to create new memories and experience new things. Get excited because you are going to accomplish great things tomorrow!

I hope that these tips help you to make the most of your Sunday and help you to prepare for Monday!

Getting Back To My Old Self

I know that growing up is inevitable. I know that we are bound to change over time. I know that our apperances will change as we age. I know all that!

Do you think it’s possible to age gracefully? I see all these celebrities growing older but hardly changing. Maybe it’s some kind of witchcraft or something, I simply just don’t know. However, when it comes to me, I’m ageing disgracefully.

I look at these photos and feel incredibly sad. I feel like I let myself go and I feel like I didn’t look after myself the way that I wish I did.

I put on weight, cut my hair too short, stopped wearing makeup, stopped dressing in clothing that made me happy and I even became more depressed.

I was sharing these photos on Twitter and people kept responding with lovely things like ‘beautiful in all’ and all that kind of stuff. Don’t get my wrong, I’m super grateful for all the nice comments and they do make me feel a little better but at the end of the day, if I’m not happy with myself then I need to do something about it.

That is why, things are going to be changing around here and my life.

I’m going to get back on the weight loss game so you can actually see my jaw line again. I’m going to get back into fashion and wear clothing that makes me feel great. I’m going to start wearing make up again and practiasing different styles until I find one that I’m happy with. I’m going to grow my hair to a longer length so I can style it different ways. And most importantly, I am going to work on getting better mentally.

I’m going to start documenting my lifestyle changes on my blog, YouTube channel, Fitness Insta and Twitter. If you want to keep up to date with my life changes then I definitely recommending checking out my other socials.

Miscarriage

This is a post that I didn’t ever expect to end up writing but here we are. Today I found out that I’ve had a miscarriage and I’m heartbroken.

Let’s go back to the very beginning for a bit though.

Since I was very young, I’ve had super weird periods. My cycle was never regular and I could go a whole year without a period. You probably think that’s amazing because yay, no period but it’s not so great when you’ve always known that you wanted to be a mother.

At around age 14, I spoke to someone with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) And they told me that I had a lot of symptoms of that too. Symptoms included irregular periods, thinning hair but hair growth in other places and weight gain.

I headed to the doctors about getting a diagnoses and eventually, three years later, I was diagnosed with PCOS. The doctors were very difficult about diagnosing me. They didn’t run tests and to be honest, they hardly knew anything about the illness.

Once I had my diagnoses, the only treatment that they could offer me for it was the pill. I took that treatment option and went on about my life.

It helped regulate my periods but then came another problem; I became pregnant. The person who I was with at the time, didn’t want me to become pregnant. He accused me of not taking the pill properly and got rather angry.

He decided that the best thing for me to do was get an abortion. A few days later, I woke up in extreme pain and ended up in an ambulance heading to the hospital. It was an ectopic pregnancy. That sort of terminated itself much to the relief of my boyfriend of the time. I on the other hand, wasn’t so happy.

Fast forward about one or two years, I met Simon (my current partner). This is probably not something that you’d expect me to talk about but we started having unprotected sex very early on in the relationship. I was no longer on the pill but I guessed that I wouldn’t get pregnant again due to not treating my PCOS. I was naive.

After around five years of unprotected sexual intercourse, I seemed to be getting regular periods again. At this point I knew that I was ready for a baby. Simon wasn’t 100% sure as he was waiting for the perfect time. I think he knew though that there would never be a perfect time.

Around six weeks ago, I became pregnant.

We only decided to do a test as I was spotting and getting weird cramps but we didn’t do the test until I was 5 weeks pregnant.

Simon rushed me to the hospital as soon as we found out due to the pain I was getting. They confirmed how many weeks pregnant I was and they booked me in for an ultrasound the next day.

The ultrasound confirmed that there was a pregnancy sack and that I was five weeks pregnant. They decided to book me in for a follow up ultrasound for the following week so we could see the baby’s heartbeat.

I left on a high. I couldn’t have been more excited if I tried. Simon was nervous as heck but I was too busy being hyped to be nervous at all.

After the week had been and gone, we headed back to hospital. Over the week, I had had a lot of heavy bleeding and pain so I wasn’t expecting good news.

We headed to the early pregnancy ward who sent us down for an ultrasound. That confirmed the worst. I had miscarried.

They went over my miscarriage plan with me and sent me home. I didn’t need any treatment which is a positive but I was no happy at all.

I am meant to do a pregnancy test in two weeks to confirm that the pregnancy has cleared from my body. Once it has and I’ve had a period, I am able to try again.

I am hoping that the doctors will put me on metformin which is a medication which can help people with PCOS get pregnant.

I am hopeful for the future but heartbroken at the same time.

A Month With My 6th Gen iPad

It’s been a whole month since I bought my latest piece of technology and I’m still obsessed.

It’s all down to a Sky TV advert really. They were advertising the new iPad super cheap on TV so Simon and I knew that we had to get one each.

I bought the Gold 6th Gen iPad (9.7″) and I love it. It’s cheap and cheerful and great for blogging.

When I first got the iPad, air was shocked at how heavy it was. I think that was because I was used to using a MacBook Air though. Over time, I got used to the iPad being heavier and I don’t even notice it anymore.

The gold colour on the back of the iPad is absolutely stunning. It’s shiny and pretty and I just love it. It makes me feel classy for using it.

My absolute favourite thing about this iPad is that it is compatible with the Apple Pencil. I’m going to do so much drawing hen I eventually get the money to start drawing and get a pencil.

There are two things that I’m not a huge fan of though. The first one is the camera and then second is the keyboard.

The camera quality is pretty poor but I suppose that you don’t really buy an iPad for taking photos and doing photography.

The keyboard has to be Bluetooth as it doesn’t connect to a normal Apple Keyboard. I suppose on the plus side of this, the keyboard will be a lot cheaper and I could probably pick up a good one on eBay.

My favourite thing to do on this iPad is play games. Why are games so much more fun on a big screen?!

Have you ever tried the iPad 6th gen? If you have, let me know what you think of it.

Fashion ‘Rules’ That Plus Size Women Need To Break

When I used to look in the mirror, I would hate what I saw. I saw a blob, a very fat blob. I hated myself.

If you’re a person, you can probably relate to this in some kind of way.

I’ve always been taught that fat is bad and I need to hide as much of my fat as possible.

That is why I’m writing this post. It’s time for things to change!

Rule #1: Don’t wear tight fitted clothing.

This rule is a load of bogus. I am definitely a plus size lady but I live in skinny jeans and tight fitted tops. They make me happier and I feel that I can show off my curves more. If anything, baggy clothes make me look all frumpy and gross so I’m definitely going to keep wearing my tight fitted clothing.

Rule #2: Lose the stripes.

I remember back when I was younger, I had a pink and white striped t-shirt. I absolutely adored it and wore it all the time. That was until I looked in the mirror once and noticed that it doesn’t make me look very slim. But the thing is, I shouldn’t have cared. No one else cared so why should I?!

Rule #3: Crop tops are not for fat people.

This should silly when you think about it. Fat people have stomachs and so do thinner people. Surely if we want to wear a crop top then we can no matter what size we are. Just because your tummy isn’t flat, doesn’t mean it can’t be flaunted.

Rule #4: Hide your bingo wings.

The phrase bingo wings always makes me laugh. It’s just so silly! Those saggy bits on your arms really don’t need to be hidden. Ignore people who say that they do. When it’s warm, you should wear that sleeveless outfit instead of hiding everything.

What plus size fashion rules are you going to break? Let’s all work together to break the rules of how fatter people can dress..