Becoming The Best Version Of Myself

After writing my post about my life lessons, I realised that even though I have learnt a few life lessons throughout my life, there’s still more that I can improve on to make myself the best version of me that I can be.

I think it’s time that I start off a journey of becoming the best version of myself. I’m going to start by making lists of traits, habits and general things that I aspire to be. I thought what better place to share these lists than right here on my blog. By putting my thoughts into writing, it will be like taking them out of my very chaotic mind and it might even help to make me feel even more accountable. Hopefully sharing my goals and aspirations with you all will encourage me to do what I need to do to get to the places that I want to be.

Productivity:

  • I want to write more blog posts in advance so that when bloggers block hits, I have something to share with you all.
  • I want to make sure I keep my home, desk area and living spaces clean.
  • I want to stop procrastinating and get things done so I have time to relax when I need to in the evenings.
  • I want to stick to one journal system and actually use the journal to organise my days.
  • I want to start managing my monthly budgets better and start saving money.

Physical Health:

  • I want to lose five stone (70lbs) before my 24th birthday (November 2020).
  • I want to drink more water instead of lemonade and other fizzy drinks.
  • I want to stop eating cake as much.
  • I want to try to follow exercises from YouTube.
  • I want to make sure that I keep on top of my personal hygiene.

Mental health:

  • I want to try looking at situations more positively instead of worrying too much.
  • I want to show more gratitude to the people who are in my life.
  • I want to cut out the toxic people in my life and make friends to replace them.
  • I want to practise forgiveness for others to protect my own sanity.
  • I want to incorporate daily meditation into my life.
  • I want to set boundaries that will protect my own wellbeing.

Hobbies:

  • I want to start practising my drawing skills and painting more.
  • I want to actually learn to play my guitar instead of looking at it just sat in the corner.
  • I want to travel more and experience as many cultures as I can.
  • I want to rekindle my love for reading.
  • I want to start taking more photographs to capture precious life moments.

I’m hoping that now I have shared these goals with you, I’ll be able to keep up with this. It’s definitely going to be a hard journey and nothing will be accomplished overnight but it will be an interesting journey. I will probably focus on a small task per week or even longer so that I can create new habits and keep my thoughts organised.

If you lovely readers are also on a journey of self improvement, what’s on your list of things to improve on?

Getting Back To My Old Self

I know that growing up is inevitable. I know that we are bound to change over time. I know that our apperances will change as we age. I know all that!

Do you think it’s possible to age gracefully? I see all these celebrities growing older but hardly changing. Maybe it’s some kind of witchcraft or something, I simply just don’t know. However, when it comes to me, I’m ageing disgracefully.

I look at these photos and feel incredibly sad. I feel like I let myself go and I feel like I didn’t look after myself the way that I wish I did.

I put on weight, cut my hair too short, stopped wearing makeup, stopped dressing in clothing that made me happy and I even became more depressed.

I was sharing these photos on Twitter and people kept responding with lovely things like ‘beautiful in all’ and all that kind of stuff. Don’t get my wrong, I’m super grateful for all the nice comments and they do make me feel a little better but at the end of the day, if I’m not happy with myself then I need to do something about it.

That is why, things are going to be changing around here and my life.

I’m going to get back on the weight loss game so you can actually see my jaw line again. I’m going to get back into fashion and wear clothing that makes me feel great. I’m going to start wearing make up again and practiasing different styles until I find one that I’m happy with. I’m going to grow my hair to a longer length so I can style it different ways. And most importantly, I am going to work on getting better mentally.

I’m going to start documenting my lifestyle changes on my blog, YouTube channel, Fitness Insta and Twitter. If you want to keep up to date with my life changes then I definitely recommending checking out my other socials.

My Mood Boosting Playlist

As you know from my last post, I’m going through a bit of a bad time. But do you know what always helped my bad mood; music!

If you’re going through a bit of a tough time yourself then why not listen to some of these mood boosting tunes to lift your spirits a little..

Stupid For You by Waterparks

Quarter Past Midnight by Bastille

Who Says by Selena Gomez & The Scene

Pom Poms by Jonas Brothers

Something In The Way You Move by Youth In Revolt

Sunflower by Post Malone

F.F.F. (Fuck Fake Friends) by The Animal In Me

Confident by Demi Lovato

This Is Me by Kesha

Mean Kids by Ghost Town

Juice by Lizzo

You Need To Calm Down by Taylor Swift

What songs do you listen to when you need a bit of a mood booster?

An Average Day In My Life With BPD

6:00am: I wake up still tired. It makes no sense as I went to sleep at 9pm. That’s a full nine hours sleep but I still end up tired. Maybe it’s the meds, maybe it’s the depression.

6:15am: Breakfast time. I wake up starving as my meds increase my appetite.

6:30am: It’s time for my meds. I take 60mg of Fluoxetine and 20mg of Aripiprozole. I get my prescription ever Thursday and Simon stores my meds in a safe that I have no access to. This is so that I don’t take them all at once.

7:00am: After watching tv for half an hour, it’s time to get leave for the gym.

7:10am: Get on the bus and head to the gym.

7:30am: Finally arrive at the gym. I will probably have fallen asleep on the bus even though the journey was only about 10 minutes plus a 10 minute walk.

7:40am: Start working out. Exercise helps me lose weight but it definitely gives me too much thinking time. I think about life and how I’m getting nowhere. Also, everyone is staring at me, or are they?! Maybe they want me dead.

9:30am: Leave the gym after a shower and head home on the bus. Probably fell asleep again.

10:30am: Have lunch. I realise this is early but we eat early to avoid having tea late. I will explain why in a bit.

11:00am: Head to town on foot. It’s much better than getting the bus. Less people. Town is usually quiet at this time so I don’t mind being out.

3:30pm: Just arrived home from town and it’s time for tea. I am a bad cook so we have to open the windows to let the smoke out. We early early so that it’s before it gets dark so no one can shove anything horrible through the windows as we live in a not very nice area.

4:00pm: Time for getting some blogging work done. This is where I feel more comfortable; using my laptop and talking to my internet friends.

6:00pm: Time for a snack as I’m still hungry. A bowl of cereal and four pieces of toast will do.

6:05pm: Already finished eating.

6:10pm: Watch cartoons and do more blogging.

9:00pm: Head to bed feeling exhausted. Cry myself to sleep.