My Relationship With Food And Why Diet Culture Sucks

All I can think about is food. I will go to the local corner shop and buy as much ‘bad’ foods as I can, then I’ll go home and eat until I physically can’t swallow anymore. I’m spending so much money on food yet I never feel fully satisfied.

My relationship with food is confusing. I have all the knowledge I need to know what foods to be eating more or less of, I know all about portion sizes and I even know about macros. However, when I see food, my mind pretends to know nothing and just grabs whatever it can.

As you can probably imagine, this kind of eating pattern has meant that I have gained quite a lot of weight. But I’ll explain more on that soon. Let me just take you back to the beginning quickly.

Continue reading “My Relationship With Food And Why Diet Culture Sucks”

My Weight Loss Journey: The Reboot

At the start of 2018, I started my weight loss journey and did pretty well losing a total of 3 stone in a year. I didn’t want to join a fad diet so I decided not to rush my weight loss journey. I didn’t want to do a milkshake diet or some of these cults such as Weight Watchers or Slimming World.

I wanted to do it alone so I did. I joined a gym, started making healthier life choices and the weight started to come off.

It was all going well until 2019 started. That was when I started maintaining some months and gaining in others. The weight just wasn’t coming off anymore. To be honest, I gave up on my journey and stopped trying to lose weight.

I wasn’t going to the gym as often and slowly but surely, unhealthy snacks and meals started slipping back into my diet.

That is all about to change though.

Starting Monday, I will be heading back to the gym. There’s a reason that I won’t be going until Monday but those are pretty personal so I won’t go into it. Starting today, I’ll be eating healthier again. I’ll go back to making healthy decisions with my food. I’ll also be walking more often instead of sitting around doing nothing.

I think that a problem of mine is that I don’t notice any weight loss on myself. I see the numbers on the scales going down but I don’t actually notice any difference in the mirror or photographs. Maybe it’s a self confidence thing or maybe I’m just losing weight weirdly. All that I can do is keep on trying to lose weight though.

As well as the photos and measurements, this time i’m going to be sharing my journey, the losses, gains, struggles and triumphs here. I am hoping it will keep me more on track even if in the ups and downs of life. I’ll also be tracking everything on my Fitness Instagram so be sure to follow me over there.

Getting Back To My Old Self

I know that growing up is inevitable. I know that we are bound to change over time. I know that our apperances will change as we age. I know all that!

Do you think it’s possible to age gracefully? I see all these celebrities growing older but hardly changing. Maybe it’s some kind of witchcraft or something, I simply just don’t know. However, when it comes to me, I’m ageing disgracefully.

I look at these photos and feel incredibly sad. I feel like I let myself go and I feel like I didn’t look after myself the way that I wish I did.

I put on weight, cut my hair too short, stopped wearing makeup, stopped dressing in clothing that made me happy and I even became more depressed.

I was sharing these photos on Twitter and people kept responding with lovely things like ‘beautiful in all’ and all that kind of stuff. Don’t get my wrong, I’m super grateful for all the nice comments and they do make me feel a little better but at the end of the day, if I’m not happy with myself then I need to do something about it.

That is why, things are going to be changing around here and my life.

I’m going to get back on the weight loss game so you can actually see my jaw line again. I’m going to get back into fashion and wear clothing that makes me feel great. I’m going to start wearing make up again and practiasing different styles until I find one that I’m happy with. I’m going to grow my hair to a longer length so I can style it different ways. And most importantly, I am going to work on getting better mentally.

I’m going to start documenting my lifestyle changes on my blog, YouTube channel, Fitness Insta and Twitter. If you want to keep up to date with my life changes then I definitely recommending checking out my other socials.

Weight Loss Journey 2019 April Update

If you’re subscribed to my YouTube channel, you will have seen that I recently posted a body update video. I was super nervous to post it but I want to be real with my viewers and readers so you guys know what a struggle my weight loss journey has been so far.

So, if you didn’t know, during 2018, I managed to lose a total of three stone. That’s 42 pounds for anyone who wanted to know. I was so disheartened with that result as I watched people in the gym lose so much more than I did. People like Simon for example. He lost seven stone so he did amazing!

I was there to watch his weight loss journey so I witnessed all the hard work he put in. I feel like I put in a lot of hard work too but I didn’t manage to lose as much. It was frustrating but there’s reasons.

You see, I’m on medication for my mental health and a side effect of said medication is weight gain. On top of that, I have polycystic ovary syndrome. Both of these things make it harder to lose weight.

But moving on from 2018, this is 2019 where we have new goals to smash!

So far this year, all I have managed to do is maintain. That is annoying but I have been on holidays and I haven’t been eating good quality foods.

This is something that will be changing from now on though. I will be eating more fruit, veg and protein. I will be heading to the gym at least three times a week. I want to start reaching my goals.

If you didn’t already know, this year, I am heading to Walt Disney World and I am so excited but also so nervous as I am still overweight. I don’t have too long now before we go so I need to start working harder.

I’m more focused on who I want to be now instead of who I am now. I don’t like who I am now so I’m going to change it.

Turn yourself into the best version of yourself!